If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
