And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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