Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I met the friendliest cop last night
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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