Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
