ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
