So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
