I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
