she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize
