Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
