how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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