im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize