If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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