Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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