everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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