I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
