A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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