I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize