i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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