He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
