But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
