Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
