I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
