All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
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