I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
