i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
