Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
