hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
