I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
