I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
