margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
