were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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