We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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