I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
