I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
