I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
