my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
