big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Randomize
