Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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