I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I can't turn off my feet"
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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