I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
