Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
