YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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