he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Randomize
