Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
