he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
