Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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