All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
