His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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