Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
