Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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