She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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