Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
