i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm just crazy horny about you
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
