I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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