Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize