Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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