He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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