and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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