A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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