i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
